“Incontinence hot line; hold please.” One of the most challenging issues on a caravan is the forced pit stop. When nature calls, nature calls. This became apparent from the very first trip. While average speed is essential in our forward progress, comfort cannot be overlooked.
The well orchestrated caravan takes several dry runs. Literally. Any first-time caravan cannot be expected to perform up to the level of the caravan driving up from Houston.
Trial and error eventually forged the precision that permits participants to drop out at any time and rejoin the group at one of the predetermined points ahead. Radios have also played an important role in keeping everyone informed of other’s urges.
As time passed, one glaring point stood out: intake is related to expulsion. This means that if one drinks too often or too much, more stops are inevitable. What one drinks also contributes to this formula. Coffee is an acquired taste as well as a mild stimulant. Consider the options. Is staying awake and/or alert more important than relying on one’s own sense of direction or ability to run alone while watching for speed traps?
Timing is everything. To drink early, knowing that there will be opportunities in the next couple hours, leaves some margin for error. “Know thine own self” can be practiced weeks in advance of the event. Have your routine (knowing when you expect the urge) set before throwing yourself into the breech.
Abstinence (not drinking), of course, is a sure-fire method, but like many other endeavors; it is not always the most fun or comfortable. As a back up, carry a bottle of water and moisten your mouth at predetermined intervals. This could spell the difference between keeping your “rocking chair” status and being forced to brave the highway by yourself.
Should you find yourself nearing the next stop with that bloated, about to explode feeling, craftily maneuver your way toward the front of the pack, not to fuel first, but rather to park and empty your tank before filling your car’s. Remember this only works if several participants have not read this material. Also remember, no fly-bys and no passing the leader. He may be having the same urge but fear not; he’ll always take care of his car first.
A quick anecdotal story from an early trip had two females riding in consecutive cars experiencing this exact urge at the same time. The two cars were on Arkansas 7 at the time. One of the differences between men and women is that facilities are unlimited to any man in the great outdoors. Women, on the other hand, require the same type of facility as found in urban areas. After Lafayette, New Orleans became host to the Ozark Tour. Two femme fatales accompanied their husbands on this new adventure. They were driving southbound on AR 7 when the urge hit them. The roads in those days (1980’s) were much more desolate than today. After an extended period of rocks and trees, our ladies grew more impatient and extremely uncomfortable. Finally, they could stand no more. The cars pulled to the side of the road and our two heroines made their way into the underbrush. This of course provided their male companions with the perfect opportunity for a photo shoot. Adding insult to injury struck not once, but twice.
Once back in the cars, but feeling much better, the tiny caravan proceeded. As luck would have it, about a quarter of a mile down the road, just around the next bend; there was a roadside rest stop complete with facilities.
Talk about adding insult to injury.